| why do you always do this? just like make me feel bad and then just walk away? you always do that. you do it everytime. it really hurts not having anybody to talk to you know. i might just get tierd of that one day and never come back to you. its like you blame me for you cheating on me or something, i mean like come on, give me a break. you just lucky you havent been cheated on by a guy 8 times like you did me. |
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| well i was at wlmart yestorday and like this happend and like he was walking away when ever his like u beaner or something like that and i fick him off (my frst time ever flicking off somone) lol anyways he comes back to my face and like puts his face so close to my face that if i sticked my tung out i wooda liked his face. so by that point i start walking away when ever this gurl comes out of nowhere and pushes me. and then the guy comes and punches me in the forhead and i was thinkig like his not gona hit me agean but he does, he hits me in the chin and in the forhead agean. by this time i knew he was not gona stop so i had to break my rule as a pasifist and i punched him in the face and as soon as that happened like 6 or 7 people jump on me and i punch that guy about two more times and i saw blood and i was sceard to hurt him so i just stop cuz i dnt like hurting people and i dnt belive in vilence but thats part of it |
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| once trust is lost its always very hard to giann or to just give it back to the one person that u wore trusting to=he most, i know that most likely ima regret this, but im giving her a second chance, well a idk what number chance lol i lost count lol. after she chesated on me si many times that she cant count them all. she cheated on me from the first day that we dated and even tho she used to smile and look me streat in the eyes and say those three magical words I LOVE YOU , even tho i knew u wore cheating on me and everytime i asked you u got mad and said that i didnt trust you. even tho you lied to cover your lie and lied even more to cover that one. i know what i should really do but i refuse to do that, im whilling to give her a chance even tho it crushes me to think that she would even do that to me. i mean i did everything for her!!! MAN WhAT ELS DO YOU WANT? I MEAN IF HAVING TO ACK GAY AND TELL YOUR PARENTS THAT IM GAY IN ORDER FOR ME TO SEE HER IS NOT ENOFF!!! then i really do not know what is!!! but i am still whilling to give her a second chance. even tho u wore never going to tell me that she cheated on me. even tho i gave up everything for someone like you,, even tho most people are mad at me. even tho she might even be fucking someone els rite now as i type this. i would never know but most likely. even tho she has left me feeling as if someone has riped my heart out of my chest and cut it into little pieces and burnt them. and rite now they still in the fire just waiting to turn to ash. even tho she makes me feel like crap, even tho she played with me feelings . and maybe still does. im whilling to give her a second chance. she said shes gona change but i dnt really know |
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| i feel my smile getting havior and havior by each day that passes and all the stupid dumb holes that try to make me fall  some people that know me well ask me why do i smile when i hurt and i respond. it remindes me of what she made me feel happpy and worry free. now all i get is freaken lies followed by more lies why did you make me feel that way for a day? why couldnt u just stop? you said you didnt want to hurt me but u did!!!! ur just like everyone els. sry for thinking different. plz forgive me for that |
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i love this feeling of numbness that nothing matters and you dnt really care about anything